Merry Christmas!!!

Whatever that means....

why can't guys just say what they mean
seriously
why do they have to be jealous when a girl who likes them, but they don't her back, talks to another guy
is it their ego?
I'm just confused
and why do they act like they like you when they don't?
LoL
I love how Ninja says bonjour and I say hola
and we're like whatever that means.....
he likes to brag to me
so does Squall, who Idk
I honestly can't stand him anymore

yep

I am currently writing a book. it is going well.

well........

the concert is tonight

yay

got all my Christmas stuff done

all done

we have vacated the band room

tired

it's finally the weekend
I made it : )

ode to the band room

when I walked into the band room the first time, I could feel something
I felt the ancient-ness of the room
like as if generations upon generations of bands had played in that room
the band closet confirmed my feelings
it saw me, a timid young soul who thought she knew how to play, learn how to play
it saw us evolve and learn everything Mr. Jazz could teach
it saw us go away to band camp, and come back even better
it saw us go to school on the first day. we were a nervous young bunch
it saw us go to our first football game, our first competition
it saw us in our greatest moment
it held trophies of the greats, and we added ours to that collection
it saw the end of the band
it saw the rise of the Jazz Band
it saw the anger and sorrow and tears and felt my pain when there was no band
the door at the end of my hallway
it saw the new band. it saw us be great too
but, alas, it will be no more
because the football team is kicking us out
we will be in a new building
and maybe it will be great, but I kind of thought the room would be there forever, to see more great things
but no
I hope it haunts them
it is kinda cool that we will be the first ones in the new room
years and years from now, they will feel us, the first band in the new room
wow that's heavy

glow

Ninja and I are such good friends. I love sitting with him and talking to him

interesting...

Idk what to say
life is still good

one being

I feel like Ninja and me are blending together
it's weird

smile

life is good. smile and know that it't the little things strung together to make a great life :)

why music is better

feeling bad cuz sports seem to be pushing music out of the way
why?
music is good. we don't hurt anyone when we play
we aren't trying to beat the other musicians, we are trying to make quality sound
sports are dirty and ugly and degrading
okay, I do enjoy watching sports, but they don't need the brains or the focus musicians do
ah I can hear the complaining now LoL
but those complaining.....how long are plays?
football--> six, seven, maybe 13 seconds
hockey--> a couple minutes
but they can afford to relax
seriously, they don't have to think about blend, balance, intonation, rhythm, sound, tuning, timing, accidentals, key signatures, rests, dynamics, ect
all of that plus more
and if you get 93% of the notes you fail cuz it sounds awful
we practice the hardest. we have to strive for perfection
they mess up>time out, get em next time, or they get benched
we mess up> we sound bad, we can't get benched, we can't call a timeout
honestly
and we all support each other
no one's trying to be better, cuz it doesn't matter
music is peaceful. don't we want peace?

Why?

well the Steelers didn't win.....
I'm not really sure what's wrong with them
the defense seemed to be a little better, holding the Browns to 13 points, one touchdown and 2 fieldgoals
but our offense....
why can't we score?

wow

been wearing my extra lucky shirt in the hopes that the Steelers will triumph

lucky

felt extremely lucky today cuz of pennies

Love Story

that song makes me cry
it's really sweet
and it gives me hope
so yeah
playing at Mass today!!!
and ah! we have to learn in applied engineering now >_<

mint M&Ms

oh they are so soooooooo good yummy!!

sweet

what am I to do about Ninja?
maybe, I should just try to be patient

we will be in charge of the guest registry

how come Ninja put himself in charge with me?
and why wouldn't he let Nathaniel sign it??
Idk
I like him anyway : )

ooooo

I like this layout ^_^

One more tip for all you improv people out there

do something cool at the turnaround (the 2 5 1 part of the chord progression)
I improv'ed at jazz band, and that's the tip I got, but other than that, I'm good I guess

feeling odd

like something will happen. but who knows what

but.......

I need him as a friend more, so I won't
.........................
that was simple

maybe.....

maybe I will tell him......cuz I think he needs to know

of movies

it was soo much fun going to see New Moon with Sally and Lily

love and some verses

I love that song
it's sweet
and Idk
I write in songs it seems
though I can't write the music that goes with it
I wrote a story for my creative writing class
but I know it would make a better poem
cuz I just can't take structure when I'm trying to be creative
oh and you know what?
it can't have dialogue
so all through the story, he's talking to people
and it's the kind of story that is told through people's words
or parts of it anyway
argh!
LoL
I can only do my best and know that's what I did

yay

I love a nice day off

Happy Thanksgiving

be thankful for everything

songs

Ninja can transpose without music wow
we had fun today running around

Talent Show

perhaps Ninja and I will play a song together in the talent show
perhaps we won't
Idk
I'm tired of looking at words

whistle to drown it out

I asked Ninja to go see New Moon with Sally and me
and
Squall started whistling
I think he was mad
LoL!
Ninja and I played soccer and decided to have another Bots meeting
yesh life is good

aw

New Moon made me like Jacob!!!!!
wow

New Moon

I am going to see New Moon today
I'm not a big fan of the movies
I loved Twilight, cuz I felt like Bella
she was clumsy, she was optimistic
she accepted Edward for what he was
she was stubborn
and personally, I don't think Kristen Stewart captures these qualities
she's too.........moody
and she would stand there with her mouth slightly open staring at Edward looking like haha he's mine! when Bella wouldn't do that
they seemed to have no chemistry
Jacob so far seems good (but this is basically his book so we'll see how he did)
............
Jacob reminds me of Ninja
my "own personal sunshine" as Bella refers to Jacob
and that's enough

battle bots (finally!!!)

so we fffffiiiiiinnnnaaaaallllyyyy had a bots meeting
and it was awesome

jamming part 2

well, I didn't improv yesterday
Mr. Jazz asked if I was jamming, and I said no
but Ron (who had helped me with the chords) brought it up to make sure he had told me correctly
so yeah
had fun with Ninja today, we played soccer and got our contraption working
and we gave everyone high fives (oh goodness Squall high fived me (he didn't leave me hanging) !!!!)

jamming

step 2: add all the notes in the chord

warmth

I wanted Ninja to fix the motor I made
but he didn't have enough time
so I held the box, and then he wrapped his hand around mine so he could put the motor back easier
oh!
and Nathaniel liked that I saved him some pizza
and I helped him with his homework (I hope)
he was on a field trip today, so I worked on our project
Haili told me that I have to stand up to Squall to get him to listen
when Ninja came back, he liked what I did, so it'll probably stay in
yay!
we were all close too, examining stuff, but I love it

being childish

I don't get why I hang out with the people I do
because they never ask me to go anywhere with them
they don't notice things
they have no idea what's going on in my life
yet
I talk to other people more
so tomorrow I'm hanging with my scholarly friends
too bad for the others

dreams

I'm having vivid dreams

free day

I'm free today
(well not really. oh well it's nice to dream)

Hershey kiss trees

I'm told the trees in my drawing look like hershey kisses. hmmm that's odd
made a hat with Ninja. we had fun again
and Squall is still being extra nice
hmmm
gave Nathaniel his birthday card
Lily didn't want me to give it to him I wonder why.
well I do know why
she thinks of Nathaniel as hers
she's not in love with him, they're just really close
and I remember when I said I liked him
she seemed happy, but then.....if I told her about what kind of crazy stuff we'd do, she'd get...weird
like she tried to stop us from hugging
I don't think she likes that I feel like I have a claim on him
we used to be best friends. he was there when Squall was a jerk
and he still kinda is
I don't get why we don't just say what's wrong
and I know she doesn't like when she can't talk to me cuz Ninja absorbs most of my attention
argh
at least band is over. I have free time now!

.....?

Idk I'm drawing a blank about what to blog about today
oh well. been drawing Roscoe, that song by Midlake
I think it's alright
working on improvising. using guide tones, just the first and third note of every chord
that's my comfort zone
Mr. Jazz was teaching us
and he's like "Quincy would you like to take a solo"
"ummmmmm"
"ummmmmm?"
"I don't know"
"okay, then Haili would you like to solo?"
"no"
"I'll do it!"
Idk if he asked her to ask her, or to get me to say yes
told Ninja about the jazz band
and hmmmm got 100% on the calc test
had Ron (who went crazy) help me a little with figuring out chords
and Squall has entered my dreams. but he is really kinda nice nowadays
not like Ninja who is just too amazing
sadly, he still likes Leah. why?

Ninja

wow he is awesome. we played soccer today and had fun

wood glue

aw Ninja smeared wood glue on my sweatshirt
he annoys me, but Idk why
maybe because I'm losing control of my emotions around him
I worry my eyes betray too much
I worry it's not going to end well.
and I wish so much that it would cuz he's so cool
I don't feel worthy
I feel like I'm not as smart as I used to be. but I am. it's just, like everyone, I expect to much of myself.
I don't think we'd ever destroy each other though
it just may not be pretty
but I could see it turning out right cuz we really are friends
I love his company
and he seems to enjoy mine
so we're good

off my game

feeling a little off kilter today
Idk why

.......it's over

I'm so happy, yet sad cuz it's over and I don't know it was fun and I'll miss it soooo much

score!!

we are done today and I am happy ^_^

The end of Band

when there was no band, I was a wreck. that's all I would talk about
LoL but
now band's almost done for the year and I'm happy
I feel like I acomplished something
and it's as though I can rest in peace because I was not robbed this year. I did what I'm best at.
none of those kids said no we don't want a band
and we weren't the best
but I learned alot and loved it anyway
and though it seems like Mr. Jazz is going to make them great next year and I feel like I missed out
there wouldn't be a band if not for me
and I'll watch them be great and be able to say I helped them through the dark painful rebuilding year

sitting with my friend Hope missing the good old days

drew a whale. Squall stared at it
oh he did what I asked and I was shocked
I overhauled my music collection
had fun with Ninja again
and
I found a picture from when we did Macbeth.....
staring at Nathaniel, his hair long and mahogany, seeing his carefree grin
it made me wanna cry
now he looks so old. his hair is just plain brown and short. his eyes don't sparkle the same way
I miss the old days
Ninja may not know how Nathaniel was, but he knows how he is and he's right
I should stay away from him, because he's gone
he can be nice, but we can't go back in time
I hope Ninja doesn't lose his shine and sparkle
the gold aura that seems to surround him
I hope he never changes, cuz then the world will be dark
Hope and both looked at the picture. she told me I'll do great things. wow.
she also seemed wierd when I knew which one was Squall
everyone was kinda emotional today, asking if I'd keep the picture
I said yes
I don't wanna live in the past
but when I'm old and gray, I want to remember how much these people meant to me
I like holding pictures. the shiny paper is fasinating. and the people look like they want to pop out at you. or you could just pop into the picture
what was wrong with that? why'd we need to get rid of film???

selfishness

I feel as though I stuck with Jazz Band since the beginning
and Hailey did not
now she gets to play MY parts! what is this?
I guess I'm selfish. but I want that part to myself
though I get to improv so maybe it's worth it

We're on a role!

Squall was nice to me AGAIN!!!!! wow 2 days in a row
Ninja was super cool. we were all close
and Idk
maybe he's just trying to be nice to everyone

love of Squall

woah. Squall was nice
and I loved it
Ninja returned

The quest for humility

when I first joined band, I was shocked at how bad I was. though I didn't even know the extend of it
I was in awe of the trumpet player who had to wear heating pads and would cry in pain from just standing at attention, but would do it anyway
there was a girl in my section who would always yell at me for not making my dot and being out of step and such
that would make me mad
Mr. Jazz impressed many things on me, the main thing was that band was not about beating other bands. it was nice to win, but you always win if you did your best and got a better score than the last time you performed.
and we were always last or close to it, but we didn't care because we tried and got better than we were before
then the next year, everything clicked for me. marching was second nature. I could shut my eyes and hit my dot I bet
(perhaps not)
but I knew I was poised for greatness
Mr. Jazz said I was a marching monster. he gave me some of the toughest drill (along with everyone else)
I looked like a pinball, and it was awesome
our show was great. our sound was quality
and we had no drum major, yet we were synced as if we were one
I remember the feeling of them reading the scores, and not saying our name 1st (cuz they read the names from last to first)
and the shock and awe of us winning
we loved it as we hudded around our first 1st place trophy
it was worth not having fun or friends in the band. the hot sun. the dehydration. everything
then of course, though we were poised to be the best, the kids decided to have no band
and it was agony for me
I think I aged alot that year, the one with no band.
I vowed to do anything to march again
and then we managed to pull one together
but I wanted what was, and this is not it
I forgot the greatest lesson:
that band is about you doing your best
and now I feel awful that we did not win
we did okay, in fact great considering everything
we did our best
it's just now every other band copied our old greatness and are way better
I have to learn that all the new rookies will grasp things next year
and I won't be around for the greatness
it's like a veteran who gets hurt and must train a rookie to take his place, and retires a year before they go to the Super Bowl
I'm proud. I don't want to have to back down
I could march with the best of them
fly at 212
roll smoothly in 7/8 time
yet
the majority of the band does not care the way I do
and they won't until I'm gone

good gravy!

the crowd went crazy for the band and it was so cool

soothing as honey

all I can say is poor Ninja was not here again
but
Nathaniel was super nice
and it's soothing (along with odd but still)
the only other person who was this nice to me is Ninja
and I so totally love it.
I hope I'm that nice to other people
in other news......98 in calc! sweet!!!!

a picture of my brain

it was full from studying for calc >_<
oh I was so lonely without Ninja. I guess I could have talked to Squall, but I only opened my mouth when necessary
Jazz Band was fun and awesome as always

of un hug

as Squall tormented me about the band, I told Ninja the band secret. he loves knowing ^_^
and I gave Nathaniel a dollar, and Lily asked for a hug from him, and I did too!
but Lily was like NO and tried to push him away. but I got the hug anyway
and at the end of the day, I stood with Ninja and was like "could I have a hug?"
and he was like "sure. un hug"
but Idk. it felt normal though
I don't get Squall >_<

sing

oh my! Squall told me to skip band to come to the soccer game!!!!
woah!
and Idk
Ninja is cool. he was poking me and I poked him
and he loved seeing me and Lily fight over my duct tape and me standing on a chair

the Pearl

personally, I really don't like John Steinbeck
his books are like sick
I couldn't read The Red Pony or Of Mice and Men
but
I loved The Moon is Down, and I'm told it's his worst book
and I kind of like The Winter of Our Discontent
so I'm gonna try The Pearl
here's hopin I like it
PS ha the Steelers won!!!!

he turns me inside out

Ninja drives me insane with how cool he is
I love watching my Steelers
go Troy and Ben!

life is......off the deep end

I love how Ninja looked at me with his shiny liquidly eyes (sorry to get all mushy)
we all went crazy at band but it was sooo fun
and I never thought I'd like it
cuz band was always a serious thing for me and my fun was marching well
but now I do that, AND have friends that is a serious plus. I think Ron is trying to get on my good side since he knocked my solo >_<
oh well
feel better if you're sick, and if not, stay well

the agony

oh it hurts to sit with Ninja and Leah. why Idk
Ray and Jimmy keep asking me if I am going on the field trip. odd I cannot figure out why
all the guys loved my stress relief hammer (LoLz)
and Idk

The Irony

I waited and waited and waited, but Ninja came back today and I wasn't there
I was off at a day for women engineers
it was pretty cool. though girls are clique-y. and there were some guys teaching stuff
and yeah then I thought 'oh I can't wait to get back to hang with guys in the jazz band'
but I was the only girl there
and Ron didn't even notice I wasn't at school
(although hey, he noticed what I had on)
and then him and Jupiter were knocking my solo!!!!!
then even after Mr. Jazz was like "this solo belongs to Quincy! and she is so excited to play it"
and I was (I started to wonder if I am part dog)
Ron played over me anyway, but Mr. Jazz said no
and finally I played and Mr. Jazz said that was very good but I doubt you heard it so no backgrounds
aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh
I'm all alone playing it!!!!
but that's awesome!
so so awesome
the irony is I wanted to go back and be with girls rather than the guys cuz most of the time they're JERKS
yeah I said that ^_^

of a lost battle

if Squall and I are fighting over who is smarter, I have won more battles than he has
but
yesterday he won cuz he said physics is common sense, implying that I have none
I complained to Ninja, who again is under the wheather
oh wish he was here

of patronizing boys

okay. so Ninja wasn't here again
which left me alone with Squall again
and *rolls eyes* I actually had a good idea
cuz I never have those oh no
Squall was just like "wow that could work"
argh! he was sooo sarcastic!
he's turning into Jak who was all like "that'll never work you guys"
oh Ninja where art thou?
I am having adventures without you and I don't like it
oh and plus we had activities and I'm in the music club with Zaira and Squall
I needed his tuner, and he gave me like the whole history of tuners and guitar stuff!
(I think he just needed an excuse to talk to me)

yummy

I love eating icing and cupcakes ^_^

in the monster's lair

we got 7th out of 7 bands, but I was happy with our score
we did better. and that's what matters
and I can see them being great, I just won't be with them

of pirates and wood

I have a seafaring adventure for ya:
Squall needed a saw. so he decided to search for the maintenance man. but of course he had never crossed his path, so fair Quincy was inlisted as his guide. off they sailed, passing Zaira in her spanish academy, to the maintenance cave. but upon knocking, it was determined that the man was off adventuring. so back they sailed, past the spanish academy, and through the crazy young sailing amatures who had stirred up the sea, back to their home land. but the captain said that the man's adventuring was over, and his ship had just docked. so back the plucky young pair sailed. they waited until the man was done tending to his barnacled ship, and then Squall elaborated on the team's deperate need of a saw. the man nodded and told them to get the wood. so back again they sailed, passing Queen Cheyenne this time. they enlisted some young pirates to help with the booty, and again set sail for the maintenance man's cave. they cut the wood, even the piece Sir Ninja had doodled upon. and as they returned, young Squall bragged to fair Quincy and they fell in love and married. the end
LoL! okay we didn't get married. but we did run around the school
oh Ninja wasn't there
and I chatted with Nathaniel
so that was fun

"have you ever had to love someone....."

"..............that just don't feel the same. tryin to make somebody care for you, the way I do, is like tryin to catch the rain. and if love is forever I'm a winner at a losing game."
love that song
wish I didn't have to sing it cuz of Ninja though
oh well
someday something will work out

the likes of which mere mortals cannot comprehend

perhaps Ninja likes me.....perhaps he doesn't
but
we connect
and people have trouble conversing with us when we're together
LoL
and they can't understand because they've never experienced it before
we get each other
I never thought I'd meet some one who gets me
*starts humming Everyday*

oh why oh why

we learned the chain rule in calculus.
it's amazing how they teach you stuff in algebra that you don't need anymore
Nathaniel made a destructive decision, and all my friends did 2
I don't get it
and why it hurts so bad when he does this stuff
Ninja said he wishes that I was in his class
me 2
we......Idk
I'm afraid to think he likes me. but I know he likes me somehow. maybe not how I want, but still
he lights up the room for me ^_^

....

I have nothing to say. wow o.o

he's just standing in for my love who couldn't be here tonight

*sigh* the dance was awesome. Ninja hung out with me the whole night. Zaira took our picture. we danced together. we hugged and sang Journey together with our friends. he didn't let Nathaniel talk to me. we ate and talked of Pokemon
oh and Leah was there for all those things too. cuz you know, Ninja and Leah went as a couple.
I don't get this. and I don't get how I survived seeing them dancing
but I did
and I pulled out my journal and slow-danced with him. I figured that he's just standing in for the guy who is supposedly supposed to come and sweep me off my feet
Apple Jack looked at me and looked away guiltily
everyone said I looked nice. and everyone looked nice
learned how to dance. Lily was proud
I just needed my journal to help me let go
Lily was upset. she wanted to be there with someone else. and she said Nathaniel said someone said something mean to her
and as Ninja stood there and agreed, I said "Look it only matter what your true friends say"
****************************************
Samuel was mad that I danced with my journal
been thinking bout that new movie, where the wild things are
I never read that book
my favorite bed time story was good night, opus
it said that sometimes you have to depart from the text
ah tru dat
new moon got me thinking of romeo and juliet
and how maybe Paris wasn't so bad, maybe Juliet was his best friend and she liked him but liked Romeo better
oh and the hunchback of norte dame
it used to be my favorite. but I guess I forgot that Esmerelda broke Quasimodo's heart
and that hurts. cuz right now I'm in his spot. and Paris'
I want a happy ending. and I know it'll come. but I bet
I'll have to depart from the text to get it
and fly off to wish the Milky Way goodnight
LoL I could see Ninja and I doing that..........

polar bears

I drew a polar bear. he looks mysterious and awesome
but I also want him to be magical
and cute
argh! I guess I'll have to make copies of him...
practiced my flute. love doing finger strengthening exercises cuz they're fun
Lily says she won't do jazz band because Mr. Jazz likes to go through every note and make sure it sounds right
he says tone quality and intonation are more important than right notes or rythms
and it's true
but she doesn't wanna do the work to get the best sound out of her instrument
Idk. I even listen to the underlying chords in songs on my Ipod. I don't know how to make a chord progression,
but I know what should come next
sometimes I think I should take a music theory class. I'd love to know why things sound right or wrong

151st post

wowsa 150 posts.......
Idk I think Ninja and I were mad yesterday, but not at each other
Idk
*yawn*
scared for the dance

walk

we had a fun day yesterday. I hung with Ninja like almost the whole day. I think we got tired of eachother, but it's okay I think we'll be fine today
I feel awful cuz we left Leah behind. and and and they don't seem to like to talk anymore.....

bam!

wowsa Ninja hit me (accidentally of course)
like, Idk he is awesome and the crazy kid has not said anything yet so that's good
be calm

what's in a name?

honestly this crazy kid found out I like Ninja. he'll probably tell the whole school
be calm. if Ninja is really my friend, he will understand

voyage

it's simple
I'll keep doing what I am doing, but I will not go out of my way to break Leah and Ninja up
someday, he'll realize he likes me
cuz he must I mean the way he stares at me and talks to me and all this stuff
plus if I talk to another guy he gets this jealous look on his face
oh well. I won't worry

blank

so happy the Steelers won!

light

I found not worrying about things makes you lighter.
everything will be alright

and everything stopped

Idk I think Ninja likes me cuz he likes to draw on my papers and thinks I'm funny and likes to brush up against me
Zaira says it looks like we have our own little world
but
Leah came
Idk if he likes her better
I'll find out soon.......

woah

yesterday felt special. why Idk.
and I'll be off so bye

:D

NINJA'S BDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOWSA! HE LOVED MY 2 MINUTE CARD i MADE HIM
****************************************
*sigh* well hey, just cuz you can't see something doesn't mean it's not there
yay tomorrow's gonna be awesome

see through time

hm can't figure out why Jak can't stand Ninja and me. maybe it's the simple fact that I like Ninja better
Idk
can't wait for Jazz Band cuz it's awesome
tired but hyper cuz I ate a cupcake
LoLz

sometimes you must fall

so I suppose Nathaniel and I are at the bottom of our relationship cuz he won't even look at me.
oddly I still feel good that he knows
Squall and I had a conversation! (I didn't even know he was talking to me)
Ninja and I defied gravity.
woah. what kind of universe iiiiisss this?
(see, when I hit bottom about the world (and learned how awful it was) I said Ninja would help me defy gravity) and we did! =0

Don't Look in the Wrong Direction

today is going to be rough cuz the Steelers lost and Nathaniel was probably told everything and you know there will be drama and I'll have a lot of homework and on and on and on
but I bet I'll have fun w/ Ninja

Shadow Walking

"Believe something is impossible, and you will surely fail. But believe in yourself and you can do anything. Be sure of yourself. Let go. Do not think too hard"
-from Varjak Paw
like I know I can't shadow walk, but anything is possible if we believe
******************
I think I look pretty in my homecoming dress ^_^ I think I'll let it be a surprise for everyone.
must stay away from Ninja at the dance
and Idk. I think my hermit crab was eaten by our other one which is like 0.0 how'd that happen???????????

Awareness

"Assume nothing; be sure of the facts"
again from Varjak Paw
*******************
*yawn* tired

Open Mind

"For only when you admit that you know nothing, can you truly know anything."
-Jalal the Paw, from Varjak Paw by SF Said
I love Varjak. he's a cute little cat who learned how to fight and be a leader.
but what he learns can be applied to life, so that's what I'm doing
*******
going dress shoping today

I liked you Nathaniel

told Nathaniel the truth. and felt sad.....but I think it's cuz it totally caught him off guard, and then I think it all made sense to him
and I still have a Nathaniel-shaped hole in my heart.
I don't think Ninja can fill it either
or anyone
it's like.........that game you played when you are little. when you have to put the square in the square shaped hole ect.
maybe I can sew it up. or put a bandaid on it til it doesn't bleed anymore.
when people leave, a similar hole is left....and they all heal so this one will too
going to homecoming by myself
sat with Alex so fun. friends didn't care
Marshall (the craziest guy ever) came over to me and Alex and rapped to us and it made our week LoL

aye

so kinda told Nathaniel the problem. but not really. I just have to get over him
Leah's probably mad that I hang with Ninja. but honestly with out him
I'd be all alone
Lily kept saying that my problem isn't important
and Idk. but the guitar player, Alex, is super cool
Squall.......he stares and Idk what to make of it
I'll probably go to homecoming by myself

grrs

wow okay so Lily is going to flip on Nathaniel
asked 2 guys to homecoming. one wants to go with Lily. the other didn't wanna go (aw he looked so sad )=
and yeah. a bunch of people are now trying to help

Idk

I asked Haili if she would find a date for me. she seems excited to undertake this role.
Ninja and I had fun
Idk. it's sad that I like him and he doesn't feel the same way
oh well, I really hope I find someone

I'm lovin it

woah as I waited to go on I shed some tears of joy
cuz all those people were wrong
we did it. we got a band together. and we were great. not as great as we used to be, but I think we all got it.
we all understand what we're doing and why we're doing it.
and I never dreamed I'd make it back to where I belong

D:

Ninja is going with Leah.......
I can't believe he'd do this to me.
oh well. I still like him which may be stupid
but what can I do?

ITLAP (early)

argh tis International Talk Like a Pirate day (tomorrow, but how am I to celebrate with Ninja?)
me hopes Ninja tells me whether he can go or not.

;-;

wow let's see if I can say what happened yesterday....
yeah here goes

I asked Ninja to the dance =0

and he said yes *squeals*
but. he's not sure if he can go. please let him tell me today that he can go with me.
I don't wanna be trapped waiting like last time.
Apple Jack didn't tell me for a week. and then I heard no from other people before he said anything and yeah it was all set up by a teacher and yeah.
so. I want things to be different (well knowing Ninja they are cuz he was all happy I asked ^_^)
and Sun helped me ask. I owe her so much right now

hmmm

I was melting over Ninja
but I noticed he's a little....annoyed? is it me?
Idk
and Sun's leaving. I dreamt she was yesterday. so weird

little kids

Ninja and I played soldiers in Applied engineering. Ninja fired paper at Jak. he just looked at us
Nathaniel is back to teasing me
and yeah need to do calc. bye

Tiger Soul

I love how Tiger Soul and I still get along after all these years and have the same problems.
I am so happy nowadays........and I think people are jealous. Tiger Soul has the same problem
I remember when we'd be sitting at our lunch table wishing we were popular
but now I know being popular is over-rated. you can be happy cuz of one person who gets you

nature

I enjoyed sitting and doodling in This Is Not a Book

endurance

how long can I endure the chirping of crickets outside my window day and night?
LoL. now I see cool words and phrases everywhere (creative writing)
chirping of crickets
anywho, I don't think saying anything to Nathaniel is going to solve anything.
"hey I liked you last year and thought you cared. but now you just think you're a tough guy and don't care anymore."
it can't change the fact that we won't end up with each other. he has a girl friend I'm melting over Ninja. or the fact that he already left me behind. he can't walk back to me
like I did with Squall, I'm going to say he left too. he's gone. both of them never existed.
hey it worked with Squall. I still talk about him but he holds nothing over me. I'm free of him and it feels sooo good
I hate that Nathaniel holds power over me. I flinch in pain everytime I see him or say or think of things he'd say and do.
but he's gone. so I should enjoy the memories I made up ^_^
that's a sad lie, but perhaps it can save me...................

secret agent

I cannot shake the feeling that there is something going on between me and Ninja.
you'd think I'd know huh?
but I can't tell. sure he was talking to my friend Sun (she came back to my school after missing a year) but he only looked at me as we leaned against the wall
and in applied engineering he just stared at me. and I stared and said what?
he shrugged. we sat on the radiator together.
my classmates stare at us. they think it's odd that I talk so much to this (supposedly) random kid. they do the same thing if they see me with Lily as we yell "my name Jane!"
***********************************************************
I think growing up is over-rated. why should we rush to be older and mature? when we become adults, we long to be child-like again, but we've lost the innocence.
so why not stay child-like?
I mean, you can't neglect your duties n stuff, but you can do that and not grow up. at least I think so.
this summer has taught me how awful the world can be. but it has only pushed me to not grow up. to stay wrapped up in my own happiness
cuz I am happy. I'm who I want to be and people like me for that, though I will never fit into mainsteam society........
isn't that better than being crabby and sophisticated and pompous and stiff?
***************************************************
I definitely think I should do something about Nathaniel and Ninja
perhaps I should confront Nathaniel
and I think I should ask Ninja about Leah or just tell him how I feel.
I got to meet other band kids. it's an honor cuz only the old kids get to ^_^

recording device day 2

oh *smiles blissfully* Ninja returned
he said that mathy people never grow up!!!!! and he loved my salt pepper and little sail boat ^_^
we stood close as he thought and played with all the stuff I brought for our contraption.
but
Nathaniel tears my heart painfully in 2 everytime I see him. like, how to escape it?
does that mean I'd feel better if I never saw him?
........
I am a magnet for volleyballs. Ninja said that I should stop it
and I said I'd look for stuff in my woods "your woods?"
LoL
he makes me realize how dull it would be without him.

recording device

hmmm.
feeling very thoughtful.
Nathaniel laughed at my boat =(
that made feel like he was laughing at me....
as I colored in a bumble bee I drew, it turned into something I couldn't see. though I was coloring it. I like that we don't know where life will take us
I never dreamed I'd have awesome friends

how?

okay what are the chances that Squall and I would have to play a married couple in spanish class?
they must be high.
and sorry but the steelers are losing to detroit. that's what I say.
we will go 14-2 and win the super bowl

labor day

*salutes* happy labor day!

odd words

how did the english language come into existance?

My own personal Kingdom Hearts

somehow, I feel as if I've been thrown into a magical universe like Kingdom Hearts. who knows what will happen........
like in KH, what happens to Riku? he has a troubled existence, but does it ever resolve? and he must have liked Kairi. how could he stand to see Sora weilding the keyblade and hanging out with her??
I wanna know......

concussions

wow I got a concussion yesterday. I hit my head into a table
plus I confessed my love to Ninja..................................my love of Tony Romo, that is. he is awesome.
who says you can't love the Steelers and the Cowboys (though the Steelers are better hahahaha)
have to work with Squall in spanish. why?????????
and Jimmy wants to write a song about me ^_^ but fights with Ray. I don't get why.......(love triangle that I didn't know I was in??)
the pep rally was awful, but the football game was great

Calculus

we learned how to have 3 variables in a 2 variable realm 0.0
I was sooo excited ^_^
I love siting with Ninja. we make swirls on our calculators using polar graphing.
hey and had a short conversation with Squall in which I knew more (twas about music)

bug love

I love bugs. no I'm being serious.
*hearts* so does Ninja. which wowsa is soooo cool
we both loved a bug (until Squall squished it)
what does that say about us?

this isn't happening....

well it is. Lily told everyone I'm mad at Nathaniel. now I need to tell him the truth.
at least Ninja is the most awesome friend
feel bogged down with homework. hopefully it doesn't get worse (oh but it will. I know it will)

busy

wow too much is going on. had a wonderful day with Ninja!

Love Who You Love

LoL I am seriously worrying about something that is like, 180 days away
'sides, I have plenty of time to be friends with Ninja. I should not worry.
everything always works out for the best
anywho. went on my first roller coaster in a long time. I survived
I tensed up though, which I bet it would be nicer if I didn't
perhaps my class will go and Ninja will go on with me ;)

yawn

soooo tired -.-
but it's odd. we have to build a house in applied engineering (a small one) and I'm like my journal could live in it ^_^
and Ninja said "we could make a little bed for it :)"
not sarcastically or bored or eyerollingly. almost like he appreciates that I'm attached to it and he likes it 2. and I have never met someone like that.
I worry about a couple of things:
1. when I go away....how will I survive?
2. if we don't end up liking each other, I will always compare guys to Ninja. which is not fair to them or me
3. what if we do and have a nasty break up cuz we're too alike
4. what if he grows up? *faints*
but I think I can survive. because Ninja helped me through the summer. he didn't have to be with me. I just thought, Ninja likes me for who I am. the world is stupid. and I survived
maybe I won't have to compare guys to him. it is asking alot to find another person like him. but there are like 6 gazilion people in the world.
and even though I feel like were meant to be, it may not be a good idea. perhaps I need to find my opposite (ah not Squall!!!)
and even if he grows up, I believe he has given me enough memories to last a lifetime.
it helps to know there is someone in the world like you. even if you never see him again

*grins* let's run around like airplanes

wow I am soooo happy about school
I got all the classes I wanted
religion, spanish, history, calculus, lunch, concert band, creative writing, and applied engineering
I have lunch with Ninja on day A (Leah too, but she seems to be okay with Ninja and me being bbfs)
see him alot
and Squall. but he's nicer since I learned I made him up. odd
told Ninja I was happy. he smiled at me.
for some reason, I remember being with him in the hall. we ran around and pretended to be airplanes. and it was fun
though Nathaniel did not sit with me in calculus, I do not feel too bad because I knew he grew up already. so it was not a shock
I feel bad that he can't be a part of my happiness. but *sigh* I can't make him.
it's just odd that Squall is........

first day down

ah well today was not so bad.
met some new kids. hung with my friends and Ninja and Leah (well Idk if she was happy about me being there with him but.....)
Squall does not exist. and I am free of him. wow it feels good
Jak was well, Jak. he was like the band will fail
played soccer with Ninja, talked to Ninja, stood close to him, and had fun.
I do not want to break up him and Leah but if he likes me then....I won't stop him cuz I want him to be happy (and I'd be really happy with him)
she was mad at him for not remembering her b-day. and something about him always saying I don't know what I want to do. oh, and probably for him having fun with me.
*sigh*
then LILY asked Ninja if he was dating Leah. he said Idk
I was so upset I told Nathaniel. he listened, but seemed confused and worried that I was going to tell him what my problem is with him
ah school...........
I get my schedule tomorrow.

aw que lastima

I love Fetch! but yeah Senator Ted Kennedy died today (yesterday?)

he was on Fetch! so I thought he was cool. and he seemed like a good person.

talked to Sally today. she is better which is good

tomorrow is the beginning of the end of my stay at my school.

I love it there and don't wanna go. but I have to, so I will make the most of it.

and not lose myself over the future.......

ah ^_^

only 2 days left of freedom. but I am excited cuz I love to learn and I wanna see everyone again.
off to practice my flute

hey, remember who you are

after thinking and doing a pros and cons list (and on that list crossing out Squall and Ninja and Jimmy and Ray) I realized I should be taking applied engineering.
you only get one chance, and either way I'm losing.
but I think I'll learn more, be happier, and lose less in applied engineering
and I'll teach myself chemistry
Mr. Pepper wasn't happy, but he was understanding
Mr. Dragon was like it's your decision.
so yeah. the office lady was like come on the 1st day of school to change it

band was okay I guess
Lily does not know why we are here. she's like I'm here for the football games cuz I hear they are the best part. and she doesn't think the quest for prefection is fun.
class went well.
and that's that. oh Ninja was worried about me taking chemistry ^_^ he is sooo good

Steelers versus Redskins

so the Steelers lost against the Redskins. here's my take:
1.) Logan is a great punt return man. now we can actually have good field postition.
2.) Hines was great in that one handed catch.
3.) the line is not any better than last year

argh! I am looking forward to seeing Squall. bad bad bad!!
oh, and was reading my journal and found some interesting things. like the fact that Ninja called me Queen Quincy. wow. and all this other stuff. and all the times Nathaniel took my calculator and my eraser and my pencil. I'll miss hanging out with him and Pong.

wowsa I'ma texting Ninja. he really wants me to switch back to engineering . and I feel like I should.....

yummy garden food

I love garden produce :)

the 100th post

wow. it hasn't been 100 days, but I have posted 100 times ^_^

yesterday, I couldn't find Jimmy and it was raining, so not the best day. but Samuel was texting me.

over these 100 posts I've learned that the world is not the place I knew. it's not like I grew up, but rather someone popped my little bubble world and woke me up from a dream.

it's not like the world is bad per se, but that it is not as good as I thought.

I learned that there are people out there like me (Ninja, Lily, Zaira.....and maybe Nathaniel, Jimmy, Ray, Pong....) who saw the world like me. and still do, I hope

I say the world is what we make it. we can change the world.

we make little ripples in the world. we touch a life, and they touch others because of us. and soon it spreads........

we don't have to be famous to change the world

that's what I learned

a chance to pass it on.....

the pow-wow was to dish out responsibility

and I am the new marching helper. I have huge dreams about how to get those kids to learn how to march

I wanna pass on what Mr. Jazz taught us. how we are the best. how you stare up at those judges. how missing your dot is okay as long as you look good getting there and don't cheat

which none of these rookies know. they don't know it's wrong to face your dot and stare at the ground and make your dot.

marching band is not easy. if it is for you, either you're a super human or you're doing something wrong. it is usually the latter.

LoL

excited for tonight =)

and for school. I'm ready to learn a ton.

band pow-wow

oooo thanks randomclipart.com =)
ah watching Spongebob. watched Ben beat Shaq last night
we're having some sort of meeting at band tonight. I like calling them pow-wows.
we better be competing or else!!!!
and wow can't wait for the festival.

Picking a Freshman

so I went to school today to help get ready for the incoming freshman.
here's what occured:
-> Apple Jack talked to a girl, but stared at me oddly
-> talked to Penny and Fairy. sadly, I told Fairy about Lily seeing a text from Samuel. hopefully, she won't ask Lily about cuz Fairy'll flip if she found out that Samuel and I were almost more than friends
-> Jimmy, Ray, and Bob came to talk to me!!!!! Jimmy asked if I was going to a festival which he is performing at. wowsa! I said I would try to go
-> Jak said hi to me! (always weirds me out)
-> Squall was not present. which is good

excited cuz my 100th post is coming up soon

Near Squall

went over to Lily's today after band and swam in her pool. was nice.

at band, this guy came and worked with us. he knew what he was doing ^_^

(Lily lives near Squall. but we didn't see him. he is probably at soccer camp)

Bandslam

wow. I was shocked at how good Bandslam was. it was funny, yet deep and real.
I loved Bug cuz he wears argyle with his shorts
the music was awesome
I loved the trumpet, trombone, and sax players who started high stepping cuz they're from the marching band LoL (personally, I don't high step. not what we learned and too much work)
so if you're looking for a great movie, go see it!

argh! I be bored

should enjoy it while it lasts since school starts soon.

Steelers vs. Cardinals (game 1 of preseason)

yes my friends the Steelers won the first game of the season
(doesn't count of course ^_^)
for my comments on it I say
1. the officials are just as bad as last year, if not worse
2. Limas Sweed looked great!
3. our second-line defense needs improvement
4. I can actually watch when we punt! (last year I cringed. go Dan!)
everything else seemed normal
**************************
I wish Ninja would get back to me, but he probably doesn't know to check his email
and Nathaniel....I better just keep my problem to myself cuz Lily will tell him if I tell her.
summer is almost over....Idk if that's good or bad

International Left-handers Day and the wait is over!!

wow. yesterday was good. Lily and I had sooo much fun marching.

and the rookies copy me =0 like, I never had that before.

they always complement my posture and trying to keep my shoulders around. which is hard with a flute, for me. but at attention with no instrument is so easy for me.

Mr. Jazz taught us well. I feel that I should pass it on. but I didn't realize I didn't have to do anything to pass it on, you know?

Nathaniel knows that I have some problem with him. he knew before I got there.

I don't know what my problem is though

well, maybe I do. I bet it's cuz I like him and he doesn't like me like that. but maybe even more it's that my friendship was not enough to save him from himself. I didn't have a good enough influence on him.

one guy one time came up to me and said that I make him want to do his homework. now he doesn't do it all the time, but wow.

it's odd being a role model now. when I'm so young and don't know much.

****************************************

today is international left-handers day. I am a lefty and proud of it. though most of the time I do things backwards cuz of it, and the world is not made for us, I wouldn't wanna be right handed.

and yes *screech* the Steeler game is today!!!!

who dey? who dey? who dey who dey we dey!!!

life is so good, even when bad things happen. happiness is stringing together the little moments

cuz little things (like finding pennies and saving them) add up.

and life is precious. I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that had a baby, a bald eagle, a sea lion, and a whale. the top read "which is not protected?"

think about how sick that is. all the animals are protected cuz they're endangered. but the unborn child is not.

the story of the cold-welded quarter

once, I suppose, my cold-welded quarter looked like that. but not anymore. here's its story:

setting: a school room. the black top tables are fixed to the beige tile.

Pong, his brown eyes shining, comes over to Quincy "Squall cold-welded a quarter to the floor!"

later........

a strawberry blonde girl and a strawberry blonde boy stare down at the quarter

"I will pick it up" Quincy says

"it's impossible." they turn and face Squall. Quincy scowls at him

Ninja says "of course we can Quincy" she smiles

later still........(yesterday, in fact)

Jak was holding the quarter in his hand. Quincy holds out hers, and he lets it fall. the quarter is chipped and scratched, and has some tile stuck to its back......

yesterday was not so great. I had to give up applied engineering because chem 2 was at the same time. seeing Mr. Pepper though was great.

Nathaniel was not as bad as I thought. his girl friend is really nice 2. but something about him isn't right.

wow Dally got a job.

the parade went well.

*sigh* the cold-welded quarter stands for what is apparently impossible, but isn't.

it is a powerful message I think

Country Girl

yummy ^_^ "but I couldn't help but fall in love so hard for my dry county girl" RF of course
today's the day ahhhhhh I'll blog about it later.
but have decided to be Sora for halloween cuz I made a keyblade out of cardboard *nods*

Everything I know I learned from Dr. Seuss

okay well maybe not everything, but if you just look at his works, he was a genius.
argh Lily told Cola that I'm mad at Nathaniel. which I am not
also, he dyed his hair red and green. oh I don't know how to control myself.
Cola will also not come to the parade if some of our friends bring their boyfriends. wouldn't she wanna bring hers if she had one?
Hailey and I seem to get along well. not super, but we always have something to chat about.
bots tomorrow!!
why do things have to be so complicated?

peace

I feel strangely peaceful about Nathaniel now.......
my mom says he probably needs friends right now, and she's right.
plus I remember how everyone was mad at him over his lip, and I wasn't. he complained that they were going out of their way to make him feel guilty, and I bet he was glad to have someone who doesn't yell at him
so I'll be there if he still wants to stack markers ;-)

in other news today is the Hall of Fame game. it is only the Bills versus the Titans, but I am starved for football so I suppose I'll watch it. I also want to find out if the Titans are cursed from sneezing in the Terrible Towel. the Bengals, to my knowledge, have been cursed since 2005.
LoL. the Steelers are the bestest

*sigh*

"and I wouldn't change a thing. I'd walk right back through the rain. back to every broken heart on the day that it was breakin. and I'd relive all the years, and be grateful for the tears I've cried with every stumbled step that led to you. and got me here."-RF

wow I'd sing that all the time as I walked to study hall, knowing that Nathaniel, Pong, and I would have the most fun ever. whether we were studying, doing homework, or building towers with markers, we'd always end up laughing until we cried.

Not many people I know still act like kids. I'd say Ninja, Nathaniel, Pong, Jimmy, Ray, Lily, and Mr. Pepper are the main ones. oh and Zaira 2 =)

I like to think we live in our own little world where those who have grown up just can't fit in. they see us laughing, honestly laughing about something only we know, and they are too uptight to join in. like Jak, for example, yells at me and Ninja everytime we giggle at something.

but today is a sad day, for it seems that Nathaniel has left our realm.

he cut and dyed his hair, and got a tatoo.

I'm really not happy about his hair, cuz he had the nicest hair.

he just grew up and joined the tough guys, and I'm left wondering if he'd laugh at the same things. if he still likes putting waffles in Lily's locker or stacking markers

we were supposed to take calculus together. we'd help eachother through it.
we both had big dreams. but I bet he doesn't care anymore

I used to think, what if one day Ninja stopped dreaming and liking lemons and ketchup

if he grew up and left me behind.......

I wouldn't know what to do. I figured that it wouldn't happen. it couldn't

I guess I never questioned Nathaniel. I thought he'd stay the same

but I guess I was wrong. and it was a painful mistake

I know, he might be the same....but for some reason I doubt it.

when he pierced his lip that time, he told me he thought of me and sanitized the pin super well

if he still thought of me, why would he do this?

and Lily, of course, cannot seem to figure out that I liked him. (the old him)

when tuesday comes and I see him, will I be able to control myself? I hope so.

but I probably won't. I'll probably have to walk away........

Pirate Friday

awww Nathaniel has me soo worried

Ben and Troy Thursday

one week

Wednesday

when we went to a competition and heard how much the 50/50 was worth someone asked 'who wants a pony?'
LoL today is in honor of that.
Keri Smith is sooo awesome I love her blog today (it's called the wish jar)
called Nathaniel. but he was at kennywood
exhausted. told Hailey about the bots meeting
the end

Rascal Flattin' Tuesday

wow I cannot find a picture to describe what I'm feeling.
when I step on that field (even if it's just a parking lot) I glare up at the judges in the press box and think ha just try to find something wrong with me. you can't!
Mr. Jazz taught us to be confident. these poor new kids don't get that because they haven't taught it. I'll have to say something.
we listened to my ipod at dinner. no one booed my country music
and Hailey (not Haili) heard about Ninja. ooo she had better not tease me or grrr
LoL

Battlebottin' Monday

yes I came up with my own themes for band camp ;-)

Apple Jack was a jerk to Hailey and Lili (not Haili and Lily)

twas not bad. we learned 14 drill sets, but they are already having us march and play, which I don't agree with

Mr. Squall told me that Squall will be gone next week. Jak's all like but I thought tuesday was bad for you. LoL

I want to text Samuel. no idea why. am also jealous that Penny might have a boyfriend before me.

well ttyt

band camp

no we don't gamble!! we use them sometimes to mark our drill spots

wonder how band camp will be.... at least we aren't going away.

and Ninja didn't text me back!! I wonder why....oh I might have to call him ^_^

Unstoppable

wow there sure are alot of birds in our yard today.

I'm excited about a couple of things:

1.) Jak replied to my email. I have to talk to Dally and Ninja. I'll get their answers and tell Jak that Squall hasn't replied *nods*

2.) yay the Steelers are at training camp!!!!!

3.) I finished coloring my picture of Unstoppable by (you guessed it) Rascal Flatts oh how I love them!!! and they are coming here !!!!!!! when Idk. I probably won't be able to see them live, oh well

I don't like what I see

I'm afraid I'll see our bots team fall apart. and only Ninja and I will care.

cuz I doubt our team will be part of the class like they count on

Jak is too busy to care

who knows what Squall is even up to

and Ninja sent me an email. he's upset.

but

Mr. Pepper sent me an email. he wants to have a meeting. I really hope we do.

I do not want to see it fall

it'll be like band all over again

but at least I won't be the only one missing it. maybe me and Ninja can run it together and not let it fall. I hope he doesn't mean that if no one wants to meet then he won't as well. cuz then

it'll be over

0_0 Two Weeks til Football =)

all I can say is last night was so great. I wanted to cry, hypervenalate, and have a heart attack
cuz our drill writer gets it.
and he ran practice yesterday and it was just like the good old days
Lily was um.....yeah she's being forced to do band. but now I am not
it's like I went back in time. sadly, it won't always be this good. but I can dream ^_^

I believe.......

I believe we should be like Tigger.

I believe that the majority of people are good.

.........

anywho, today is the day. the guy is coming to band to tell us about our show. and I think that I can tell if this is going to be competitive or not based on what he says. *nods*

wow, now Lily's in but I'm most likely on the way out. I wonder if Apple Jack will be there....

O.O

I first became interested in him when Tiger Soul gave me a charm bracelet with him on it.

then, went I went away to band camp, we would watch him to get out of marching

when I watch Spongebob, I just have to stare

my favorite episode is Free Balloon Day

Music IS everywhere......

wow when I was off to band I heard some odd things:
someone's radio (sounded like Moody Blues q-: I love them)
country music coming from someone's house
echoes at school. wow it was weird
that Apple Jack quit. it is bad, cuz that means he believes that it isn't gonna happen
the Church bells. they play a nice melody at 12 oclock
hm that's it
I saw a cute guy
Ron was being super friendly again
someone almost passed out
okay I have before. but Mr. Jazz always gave us breaks. if someone felt like they needed it, the whole group got one.
this doesn't happen now
today was rough. I shouldn't have marched. but I did. but now I can relax. maybe.

woah

preseason starts in about 3 weeks. are you ready?

cute

I think that there is someone out there looking for me and I'm looking for him

yay

wow I don't look like a chipmunk at all!
there is like no swelling and no pain. I just felt (and still kinda feel) queasy
so in the news today:
Nathaniel is really sick
Lily is most likely going to quit band
Ron and Hailey (not Haili) are odd
Ron is all super nice and weird to me. *shudder*
and Hailey is all I wanna join Bots!! it sounds super fun
well it is, but Idk
oh and Ninja finally edited the paragraph!!!! yay
I am gonna to arrange a bots meeting whether Jak likes it or not LoL

lah

ew not feeling well after my surgery, hopefully I can post tomorrow

this and that

I heard there was a solar eclipse last night

so yesterday, I had my flute lesson and sat in the cafeteria where I used to have lunch
*sigh* those were the good old days, when Samuel and I would eat and talk

oddly enough, Ninja emailed me. wowsa! how'd he know I would call him???
he wants to have a meeting. Jak's all like we need to have a very good reason to meet.
I remember all summer last year not having a good reason, just sitting around enjoying company
oh well, I must convince him
honestly, I think having our team as part of a class is going to make us lazy.

called Nathaniel and Sally, no answers there
and Lily called. she might quit it's up in the air

hmm and Samuel's girl friend broke up with him.

band tonight, and no Apple Jack. oh well. but perchance they will say whether or not we are a marching band
I just know we won't compete, but I'll only quit when they say it aloud

wow

at times like these, I have to love Rascal Flatts

so to start at the beginning, I was reading Peace, Love, and Baby Ducks by Lauren Myracle

boy did it pinch a nerve

my mom says that the books are terrible, cuz the friends are always out to destroy each other

but this one made me see that they are terrible

I used to have friends like that. not mentioning any names, she is not my friend (though I love to do nice things for her) and the others have changed. plus I have the best friends in the entire universe! they really care and only try to build me up. wow. and it seems that almost anyone is nice to me. people who hate like everyone love me. I'm not sure why. and if someone does hate me, no one believes me they're like 'no one can hate you Quincy'

but anywho, in the book, the girl's younger sister is a freshman and it's a mess

I try to be a great sister, but Idk

I'm worried about mine. I want to protect her from everything and always be there

but that's unrealistic

she's growing up and she should. and we both have to have our separate lives

I know sometimes I push her away cuz we're all human and need space

but I don't wanna do that. I wanna be a good sister.

and I'm sorry that I call you fake and tease you. but you're my younger sister and Idk

the fake thing is wrong though

that's another thing. the girl seemed to have rules to keep people from being fake and everyone hated it. well, I think people should be happy with who they are. but if you wanna straighten your hair (which is so pretty curly) that's fine. I don't wanna have rules. I didn't see that I did.

the other thing in the book is religion. well, I don't like to talk about it cuz I think it's private. but

I'll leave you with 3 points that I love

in the song counting blue cars, they say 'tell me all your thoughts on God, cuz I'm on my way to meet her' that is cool. I think we forget that God is God

in Bridge to Terrabithia, Leslie loves the idea of God after going to Church for the first time. she thinks that He's too busy to condemn people because He's taking care of creation

the best one is the Rascal Flatts song 'He Ain't the Leavin' Kind'

you, my friend, will have to listen for yourself to find out why I like it.

okay, I'm not done. I think that Christians and everyone should just realize that we believe what we believe. no one knows who's right or wrong, and I doubt that it'll matter in Heaven. if you just live a good life and try to love everyone, I think you'll be alright. I don't think God is going to care about petty stuff. and if he doesn't exist, well, we made the world a better place.

'there are many worlds out there, but they share one sky. one sky--one destiny' -Kairi

Spirit

Spirit is a great movie. if you watch it and don't feel moved or cry, something's wrong with you
sorry, but it's true
the music is awesome too!
but anyway at band, I wonder if I'm like Spirit
I try to refuse what they want to do, and it's tough
but I wanna stand tall and not lose what I learned
you do not follow the dots cuz they are not lined up correctly
and I saw someone marching the old way. subconsciously, it is there
but they do not want to cause any trouble. argh!
then apparently they were talking about who Mr. Jazz learned from
that really piqued my interest, since Mr. Jazz is so good
though, I doubt he agreed with everything he taught and changed it for us
Idk I know what we did. and no one seems to care anymore. I refuse to do what they say unless they directly say to, then when they aren't watching I go back
I suppose I am Spirit
miss Jack Apple
and Idk Haili seems to have other friends
as we were walking out there were the old popular kids in one group, and the young new ones in another. then there was me in between
and everytime they say expirenced members, do this....that's me 2. and I love it
but yet I keep having to ask why I'm in it
I hate the music and the changes
but
I love to march and I know how it aches to not
well there's my answer
oh happy moon day or whatever (40th aniversary is it?)

dish soap

yum I am sitting here with the window open smelling the dishwasher soap and the dryer fabric softener
LoL

Cow Day!

happy cow day =)

speculating......

hmmm

well, it appears nothing special happened yesterday

though, I did manage to knit alot. my new scarf is 8 inches long

and I watched the office and AIMed Samuel

Idk he has a girl friend

which is cool. she likes Yu Gi Oh! cards too

Ninja did not email me......

oh and I realized that Squall is not a jerk. he is a social hermit, so he had no idea how to handle me

so things didn't work out. I'm not going to hate him for that all my life

and I was reading through my journal entries when I stumbled upon the week I found out about Mr. Pepper

it was hard to read. it's still terrifying and awful

but one bots meeting, Mr. Dragon (the other advisor) was asking Mr. Pepper when he was getting his new car

after, Mr. Pepper had said

well, I hope he got it yesterday

I hope he's okay

Feels Like Today

I'm not sure why, but it feels like something special is going to happen today.

maybe it has something to do with Ninja.....

or Apple Jack or band

it does feel super good to march, I must say

it feels good that I still have most of it in me

it's cool that it seems Zaira and me have made a friend in the band. her name is Haili

Lily came and we had fun. is she going to stay? probably not.

ah well, it appears to be a great day anyway

Happy Self of Steam day

you approach the ticket taker, wondering what could possibly be going on, ticket in hand
'no no,' he's saying to someone who obviously left their ticket at home, 'you must have your ticket'
'I have mine,' you say
'oh good,' he wipes his face with a polka-dotted hankerchief, then takes the ticket and ushers you inside
oh, you think disappointedly, it's just a book. but it looks old and ruffled, and there seems to be an odd presence in the room, so you walk up to it and see the words
'Strawberry Blonde?' you whisper aloud
and suddenly the room spins and melts away and you are in a small lobby, sitting at a plastic white table. the boy sitting across from you is staring at you with mossy-green eyes. he is tall, even sitting, and his face suggests his pompous nature. his hair, which used to be long and tied back, has been cropped off short in a stylish way. you turn to stare at the other boy, and your heart flutters even though you don't know him. his beautiful, greenish blue liquidy eyes are staring at you too, and you note that he is surprisingly tan next to the other pale, pompous boy. his hair, bleached from the sun, is just a little darker than yours (is it really mine? you wonder) there is also an older man sitting at the table as well. suddenly a girl walks by with bright red hair who nods at you. you nod back, not being sure why
the old man breaks the silence 'Quincy, your hair is red in the sunlight'
'no' a voice you don't reconize says
'well, not like her' he guestures to where the red-headed girl had been
'huh?' the tan boy asks
'she walked by I saw her' you say
'oh. I didn't see her'
'see' you say to the older man 'I had red hair when I was born....' you weave your long spindly fingers through your hair and watch the sun dance off of it '.....there are still orange streaks in it'
'yeah' the pompous boy agrees, erily ingrossed in watching you
'Strawberry Blonde' the other boy says. it fell off his lips like a compliment and the room melts away again

you were just invited to a summer bots meeting. Jak was the pompous guy, Squall was the tan one, and Mr. Pepper was the older man
I do love my hair, but I always felt it was a hinderance because of blonde jokes
but Squall saying that made me feel like, wow
maybe people do like it
cuz you can't get my color from a bottle ;-)
so Ninja emailed me! it was about motors, but still it's awesome that he thought of me
Ninja is even better for my self of steam
cuz I don't have to do anything special for Ninja to stare at me happily with his shiny hazel eyes
I don't care if he likes me or not
simply bein loved, loved, loved, is more than enough, yeah, yeah-BT, simply bein loved

no clue

I have no clue what to blog about......

been watching The Office, which is sooo funny

Lily and I were talking yesterday

oh yeah

*hands you a ticket, slightly dog-eared and that sickly pink faded color*

'what is this for?' you ask

'well,' I say, 'wait until tomorrow'

;-)

I'ma textin' Ninja today

What to do with Apple Jack

*sigh*
I dreamt about Ninja (again) and here's what I think:
I think he is great for me, and I could be great for him too since I listen to all his ideas and we think along the same lines
I think that I have trouble knowing how I feel about him
I mean, I like him but I think he likes Leah and I seem okay with it, but I'm afraid I'll get my hopes up and when (and if) he says he likes her, then it'll hurt
my heart shys away from the hurt
Squall really killed my heart, shattered it. other things have too, but everytime I saw him with another girl (Sharpay, for example) it was tough. Nathaniel tried to help. he would make excuses for Squall. say that he didn't know what he was doing
possible
I think Squall liked controlling me. liked being above me. and I want to see him again to prove that he's wrong. I cut the strings, I think I'm free
I think too that Ninja and I have been friends for about a year and like each other but not that way
I think that's why I have trouble saying I like him
anywho
went to band. it felt sooooo good to march
I will not conform to what they do, but they want me there so *shrug*
so Apple Jack supplied me with a stretch (we went around the circle, and I couldn't think of one)
and he seemed to stare at me, tried to talk to me a little, and maybe whispered about me
I feel like an outsider
I'm probably paranoid, but I feel like they talk about me behind my back
Idk
told Ron's gf about us trying to overthrow Jak. that can't be good
Ron thought I'd support FBLA
said no
anywho (wow I canNOT stay on topic)
a small little voice is asking 'does Apple Jack like me?'
we are kindred spirits when it comes to music and marching band
he is against it too, but is in it
and do I like him?
not sure
he's cool though
hmmm
I wonder.........
what if I had never asked him to prom?
what if I didn't dream?
deep...................................

Sooo excited!!!!!!! *squeak!*

Keri Smith, I doubt you read my blog, but you are awesome!!!!!!

I love my journal soooo much ^_^

yes I went on vacation for about nine days and had a lot of fun

but I missed my home town, and EVERYTHING about it

the climate the dialect the food the people and on and on

anyway, Keri Smith's new book is coming out soon and it is called 'This is not a book'

I loved learning how to be an ex-plor-er of da world, but I wanted a book like my journal, which seems to be what this one is about

it raises this deep question: if this is not a book, then what is it?

I love thinking like that

*********

in other news my faith in humanity has been shaken

it seems as though girls will never get any respect

(this is all brought on by a movie I was forced to listen to)

and I do not like it

more later

*************

finally, on a happy note, I called Ninja

and though he was with Leah, we talked for 12 minutes and 54 seconds!!!!!

he's so happy about my solo

he's so cool and is always there to remind me that hey maybe the world is filled with fake people, and though they are hard to come by, real people do exist

*yawn*

wow it is 6 am here!! =)
I freaked about Apple Jack all yesterday
my great uncle showed me the neatest card trick (I think)
and went shopping
honestly
I'm hopping mad that bell bottoms are out of style, common people! did hypies wear skinny jeans that cut off circulation at your ankles? NO
why do people need a stupid fad to feel good about themselves? =(
"they show off your curves and make you feel good cuz you look good"
please
and what is the big deal with make up? again, why do people need to hide themselves and make themselves (I'm not saying this to everyone, just to those who put on HUGE amounts of make up and you know who you are) look like they have a hangover
when I wear make up (cuz I want to, not for a dance recital) the world will explode
cuz I know a couple things
1.) I have a very healthy self of steam. they can't tell me I need this or that to look good, because I already do and I say so
2.) though I have never had a boy friend, I think it's cuz I haven't met the guy who appreciates me for who I am, or if I have they are just not ready. I have some great guy friends who I can laugh my head off with and be goofy around q=
3.) just listen to Fast Cars and Freedom by Rascal Flatts
"starin at you, taking off your makeup, wonderin why you even put it on. I know you think you do, but baby you don't need it, wish that you could see what I see when it's gone"
4.) I have a journal. because of him, I'm not even a part of the status quo and so why follow their rules?
Ninja makes up theorems in his spare time, I do 2
but they are to explain my crazyness ^_^

Oh goodness ANOTHER belt loop incident????

I must say, the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series is hands down one of the best series if you wanna read about four friends who stay friends

anyway, you might be asking, WHAT is the belt loop incident?
well my friend, we must go backward before we can move forward
*flashback*
so Squall and I, on a dress down day, have both worn a yellow shirt
in PreCalc we were forced to sit together almost the whole year!!!!!
and we touch eachother's feet under the desk, which reeks havoc on my concentration
anyway, so I survived another day, and the bell rings
I pack up my calculator, pencil, and eraser, and stand up
Squall is inching past my chair, really close today
and then!!!!
I reach out to grab my chair, but my finger goes through either his belt loop or hammer loop on his jeans.
I honestly was just so embarrassed
and like, he didn't say anything he just stood there
so I now refer to embarrassing things as belt loop incidents

well, so yesterday at band I toned down my expectations
and Jak being there, staring at me, seriously freaked me out
but anyway
so during warmups, we give massages to the person to the right of us
that was Apple Jack (remember? I had to ask him to Prom???)
so I gave him one
but goodness, she said to turn around and let them give you a massage!!!!
so he's massaging me and it was just so weird cuz Idk

I was going insane

it wasn't like Squall, cuz then I'd be going numb
it wasn't like Ninja, cuz I'd be....hmmm oh yeah, enjoying his aura
it was different, cuz his hands are like the same temperature as mine

used dementional analysis to figure out that 5k is 3.1 miles
and all good chem students box their answers =)

A true blue mountain dew dieheart hypie gypsy girl

Idk what to do
I should quit, it would save me from the crash that's immenent
Ninja told me too
but I know things I absolutely loathe don't look so bad after awhile
and I sang and stayed in Jazz Band even though Ninja said to quit. and I liked it
I want to be noble
I wanna be able to say you quit me, but I didn't quit you
so I skipped a practice, they'll take me back
so I have no friends there
maybe it'll change
I don't wanna be Squall, who said 'I don't feel like helping you'
so they can't change how I march
they'll learn soon enough
Yanni wants to smile on us
maybe I should let him
and if I crash and burn at the end
at least I know I tried my hardest for them
even if they never cared

No Phone?????

people have been telling me I needed a new phone for years (literally)

I've had the same one for about 4 years, and finally a button is starting to not work, so I picked out a new phone and my mom took mine to work so she can get it deactivated

the new one, to my knowledge, has no camera =)

I mean, I'm simple. I wanna be able to text and call people

I have an Ipod, so no need for music

I have a camera, so no need for pictures

I have a laptop, so no need for internet

those people who have their whole life on their phone, where is the fun in that?

and I hate how thin everything is getting

I mean, for my Nano, it was so thin it would slip through my fingers. I needed a case (to attach my lanyard to) and to just to fatten it up a bit so I could hold it

LoL!

anyway, so no phone today =(

played runescape so fun

I'm like a level 47 in mining, but I can't afford the pick axe that goes with my level

so no one believes me

wonder why people can't ever be happy about who they are

'I hate my curly hair' or 'I want to dye my hair blonde' or 'I'm too short/tall'

*rolls eyes*

look, you are who you are. you need to realize that you're beautiful even if the media says you aren't

they want me to come in and talk to the new band director tomorrow

Idk

it's better if I don't

the problem is not her, it's the fact that she's not Mr. Jazz

(and the parents who think they know better)

so I'm not going 2

Paper Lion is soooo funny I love George Plimpton!!!!!

Camping, are you ready for some Camping? woah!

I love hoops and yoyo and Parry Grip

dreamt of Ninja, Pong, Nathaniel, and Harry Potter

we have chaos at our house, but it's nice

something crazy is always going on and I love it

I think it's a trait

wow I am really drawing a blank here

-Horton

reading Paper Lion, sooo awesome

oh and giving up saying like

I gots to go!

Huh.

LoL!

I got Rubber Soul and Help! yesterday, both by the Beatles

I'm odd, I looooovvvve country, but I like the Beatles 2

I'm not as free of Squall as I thought

but maybe this proves that I didn't just like that stuff (ex. Pink Floyd, Oliver Cromwell, 60s objects) cuz of him. I mean I did try it cuz of him, but he didn't make me like it

I tried a ketchup packet and loved it! I mean, I won't do it all the time, but I know why Ninja likes it.

what I don't get is why kids love ketchup but not tomatoes

they are sooo good

one day I got one at lunch, sat down with it on my tray, and this girl screeched "I'm scared of tomatoes!!!!!!" and honestly got up and moved. I was like oooookay that happened

love Horton Hears a Who!

and met this girl who's father is a magician and mother is a clown

that has to be really crazy

but fun

*yawn*

everyone's playing Michael Jackson songs everywhere

it's like no one appreciated him until he died

seems like that happens to all the greats

*shrug*

I think Ninja likes eating ice 2 :)

Life as a Rebel

well, I'm a rebel now

see once you quit band the chase begins

they'll not find me though ^_^

Sally said that Leah and Ninja have/might still go out. it twinges my heart, but doesn't seriously bother me. cuz I mean, they are cute together and Ninja's still my friend

my close friend

now I get to be as crazy as I am, not hide

he showed me I should let go

ooooohhhh, whichever way the wind blows

ooooohhhh, I'm learning how to let go (learnin how to let go)
like a painted wild mustang

flyin out across the open range

sorry, getting carried away with No Reins by the most awesome Rascal Flatts

feeling awfully acident-prone today

wanna start a comic strip

feel bad I have to retire my star shoes. oh......I got some other cool piratey shoes though

everyone still says I should ask Ninja

I could see him saying yes, but Idk if that means anything

*shrug*

*grins* I win!

what you ask?

I'm still free of Squall, and I quit the band. breathe in that free air!

It's toooooo Early

ah I have to be up sooo early for band >_<
but
I had the best bot meeting yesterday. cuz we just kinda met to sign the card for Mr. Pepper and discuss field trips, so we were done within the hour. with 2 hours of hanging with Ninja. he came in to the room and we just grinned :D
I have a few things to add to my paragraph:
he like proportions and to make up theorems and is bad at easy math
me too!
okay I haven't made a theorem, but I love proofs from geometry
CPCTC!!!!!
so anyway, we played baseball with a pyramid ^_^ Jak seemed like I wanna talk to Quincy, but he gave up.
me and Ninja also ran around the school with all the empty rooms and desks in the halls
*sigh* see, there's a sign that says "do not enter without permission" and he's like "Jak give me permission" Jaks like *rolls eyes* but Ninja said "Quincy I give you permission"
and and and
he got me a chair off the stack :)
he's such a gentleman
but
I wish Squall had been there
maybe a small part of me can't give him up
Ninja was a readin my Journal, and when he came to my null and void I turned the page
we might end up going bowling together cuz Jak is too cool 2 *rolls eyes* he like worships Ron it's sick.
I think Ron'll be a politician some day