*sigh*

"and I wouldn't change a thing. I'd walk right back through the rain. back to every broken heart on the day that it was breakin. and I'd relive all the years, and be grateful for the tears I've cried with every stumbled step that led to you. and got me here."-RF

wow I'd sing that all the time as I walked to study hall, knowing that Nathaniel, Pong, and I would have the most fun ever. whether we were studying, doing homework, or building towers with markers, we'd always end up laughing until we cried.

Not many people I know still act like kids. I'd say Ninja, Nathaniel, Pong, Jimmy, Ray, Lily, and Mr. Pepper are the main ones. oh and Zaira 2 =)

I like to think we live in our own little world where those who have grown up just can't fit in. they see us laughing, honestly laughing about something only we know, and they are too uptight to join in. like Jak, for example, yells at me and Ninja everytime we giggle at something.

but today is a sad day, for it seems that Nathaniel has left our realm.

he cut and dyed his hair, and got a tatoo.

I'm really not happy about his hair, cuz he had the nicest hair.

he just grew up and joined the tough guys, and I'm left wondering if he'd laugh at the same things. if he still likes putting waffles in Lily's locker or stacking markers

we were supposed to take calculus together. we'd help eachother through it.
we both had big dreams. but I bet he doesn't care anymore

I used to think, what if one day Ninja stopped dreaming and liking lemons and ketchup

if he grew up and left me behind.......

I wouldn't know what to do. I figured that it wouldn't happen. it couldn't

I guess I never questioned Nathaniel. I thought he'd stay the same

but I guess I was wrong. and it was a painful mistake

I know, he might be the same....but for some reason I doubt it.

when he pierced his lip that time, he told me he thought of me and sanitized the pin super well

if he still thought of me, why would he do this?

and Lily, of course, cannot seem to figure out that I liked him. (the old him)

when tuesday comes and I see him, will I be able to control myself? I hope so.

but I probably won't. I'll probably have to walk away........