secret agent

I cannot shake the feeling that there is something going on between me and Ninja.
you'd think I'd know huh?
but I can't tell. sure he was talking to my friend Sun (she came back to my school after missing a year) but he only looked at me as we leaned against the wall
and in applied engineering he just stared at me. and I stared and said what?
he shrugged. we sat on the radiator together.
my classmates stare at us. they think it's odd that I talk so much to this (supposedly) random kid. they do the same thing if they see me with Lily as we yell "my name Jane!"
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I think growing up is over-rated. why should we rush to be older and mature? when we become adults, we long to be child-like again, but we've lost the innocence.
so why not stay child-like?
I mean, you can't neglect your duties n stuff, but you can do that and not grow up. at least I think so.
this summer has taught me how awful the world can be. but it has only pushed me to not grow up. to stay wrapped up in my own happiness
cuz I am happy. I'm who I want to be and people like me for that, though I will never fit into mainsteam society........
isn't that better than being crabby and sophisticated and pompous and stiff?
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I definitely think I should do something about Nathaniel and Ninja
perhaps I should confront Nathaniel
and I think I should ask Ninja about Leah or just tell him how I feel.
I got to meet other band kids. it's an honor cuz only the old kids get to ^_^