maybe.....

maybe I will tell him......cuz I think he needs to know

of movies

it was soo much fun going to see New Moon with Sally and Lily

love and some verses

I love that song
it's sweet
and Idk
I write in songs it seems
though I can't write the music that goes with it
I wrote a story for my creative writing class
but I know it would make a better poem
cuz I just can't take structure when I'm trying to be creative
oh and you know what?
it can't have dialogue
so all through the story, he's talking to people
and it's the kind of story that is told through people's words
or parts of it anyway
argh!
LoL
I can only do my best and know that's what I did

yay

I love a nice day off

Happy Thanksgiving

be thankful for everything

songs

Ninja can transpose without music wow
we had fun today running around

Talent Show

perhaps Ninja and I will play a song together in the talent show
perhaps we won't
Idk
I'm tired of looking at words

whistle to drown it out

I asked Ninja to go see New Moon with Sally and me
and
Squall started whistling
I think he was mad
LoL!
Ninja and I played soccer and decided to have another Bots meeting
yesh life is good

aw

New Moon made me like Jacob!!!!!
wow

New Moon

I am going to see New Moon today
I'm not a big fan of the movies
I loved Twilight, cuz I felt like Bella
she was clumsy, she was optimistic
she accepted Edward for what he was
she was stubborn
and personally, I don't think Kristen Stewart captures these qualities
she's too.........moody
and she would stand there with her mouth slightly open staring at Edward looking like haha he's mine! when Bella wouldn't do that
they seemed to have no chemistry
Jacob so far seems good (but this is basically his book so we'll see how he did)
............
Jacob reminds me of Ninja
my "own personal sunshine" as Bella refers to Jacob
and that's enough

battle bots (finally!!!)

so we fffffiiiiiinnnnaaaaallllyyyy had a bots meeting
and it was awesome

jamming part 2

well, I didn't improv yesterday
Mr. Jazz asked if I was jamming, and I said no
but Ron (who had helped me with the chords) brought it up to make sure he had told me correctly
so yeah
had fun with Ninja today, we played soccer and got our contraption working
and we gave everyone high fives (oh goodness Squall high fived me (he didn't leave me hanging) !!!!)

jamming

step 2: add all the notes in the chord

warmth

I wanted Ninja to fix the motor I made
but he didn't have enough time
so I held the box, and then he wrapped his hand around mine so he could put the motor back easier
oh!
and Nathaniel liked that I saved him some pizza
and I helped him with his homework (I hope)
he was on a field trip today, so I worked on our project
Haili told me that I have to stand up to Squall to get him to listen
when Ninja came back, he liked what I did, so it'll probably stay in
yay!
we were all close too, examining stuff, but I love it

being childish

I don't get why I hang out with the people I do
because they never ask me to go anywhere with them
they don't notice things
they have no idea what's going on in my life
yet
I talk to other people more
so tomorrow I'm hanging with my scholarly friends
too bad for the others

dreams

I'm having vivid dreams

free day

I'm free today
(well not really. oh well it's nice to dream)

Hershey kiss trees

I'm told the trees in my drawing look like hershey kisses. hmmm that's odd
made a hat with Ninja. we had fun again
and Squall is still being extra nice
hmmm
gave Nathaniel his birthday card
Lily didn't want me to give it to him I wonder why.
well I do know why
she thinks of Nathaniel as hers
she's not in love with him, they're just really close
and I remember when I said I liked him
she seemed happy, but then.....if I told her about what kind of crazy stuff we'd do, she'd get...weird
like she tried to stop us from hugging
I don't think she likes that I feel like I have a claim on him
we used to be best friends. he was there when Squall was a jerk
and he still kinda is
I don't get why we don't just say what's wrong
and I know she doesn't like when she can't talk to me cuz Ninja absorbs most of my attention
argh
at least band is over. I have free time now!

.....?

Idk I'm drawing a blank about what to blog about today
oh well. been drawing Roscoe, that song by Midlake
I think it's alright
working on improvising. using guide tones, just the first and third note of every chord
that's my comfort zone
Mr. Jazz was teaching us
and he's like "Quincy would you like to take a solo"
"ummmmmm"
"ummmmmm?"
"I don't know"
"okay, then Haili would you like to solo?"
"no"
"I'll do it!"
Idk if he asked her to ask her, or to get me to say yes
told Ninja about the jazz band
and hmmmm got 100% on the calc test
had Ron (who went crazy) help me a little with figuring out chords
and Squall has entered my dreams. but he is really kinda nice nowadays
not like Ninja who is just too amazing
sadly, he still likes Leah. why?

Ninja

wow he is awesome. we played soccer today and had fun

wood glue

aw Ninja smeared wood glue on my sweatshirt
he annoys me, but Idk why
maybe because I'm losing control of my emotions around him
I worry my eyes betray too much
I worry it's not going to end well.
and I wish so much that it would cuz he's so cool
I don't feel worthy
I feel like I'm not as smart as I used to be. but I am. it's just, like everyone, I expect to much of myself.
I don't think we'd ever destroy each other though
it just may not be pretty
but I could see it turning out right cuz we really are friends
I love his company
and he seems to enjoy mine
so we're good

off my game

feeling a little off kilter today
Idk why

.......it's over

I'm so happy, yet sad cuz it's over and I don't know it was fun and I'll miss it soooo much

score!!

we are done today and I am happy ^_^

The end of Band

when there was no band, I was a wreck. that's all I would talk about
LoL but
now band's almost done for the year and I'm happy
I feel like I acomplished something
and it's as though I can rest in peace because I was not robbed this year. I did what I'm best at.
none of those kids said no we don't want a band
and we weren't the best
but I learned alot and loved it anyway
and though it seems like Mr. Jazz is going to make them great next year and I feel like I missed out
there wouldn't be a band if not for me
and I'll watch them be great and be able to say I helped them through the dark painful rebuilding year

sitting with my friend Hope missing the good old days

drew a whale. Squall stared at it
oh he did what I asked and I was shocked
I overhauled my music collection
had fun with Ninja again
and
I found a picture from when we did Macbeth.....
staring at Nathaniel, his hair long and mahogany, seeing his carefree grin
it made me wanna cry
now he looks so old. his hair is just plain brown and short. his eyes don't sparkle the same way
I miss the old days
Ninja may not know how Nathaniel was, but he knows how he is and he's right
I should stay away from him, because he's gone
he can be nice, but we can't go back in time
I hope Ninja doesn't lose his shine and sparkle
the gold aura that seems to surround him
I hope he never changes, cuz then the world will be dark
Hope and both looked at the picture. she told me I'll do great things. wow.
she also seemed wierd when I knew which one was Squall
everyone was kinda emotional today, asking if I'd keep the picture
I said yes
I don't wanna live in the past
but when I'm old and gray, I want to remember how much these people meant to me
I like holding pictures. the shiny paper is fasinating. and the people look like they want to pop out at you. or you could just pop into the picture
what was wrong with that? why'd we need to get rid of film???

selfishness

I feel as though I stuck with Jazz Band since the beginning
and Hailey did not
now she gets to play MY parts! what is this?
I guess I'm selfish. but I want that part to myself
though I get to improv so maybe it's worth it

We're on a role!

Squall was nice to me AGAIN!!!!! wow 2 days in a row
Ninja was super cool. we were all close
and Idk
maybe he's just trying to be nice to everyone

love of Squall

woah. Squall was nice
and I loved it
Ninja returned

The quest for humility

when I first joined band, I was shocked at how bad I was. though I didn't even know the extend of it
I was in awe of the trumpet player who had to wear heating pads and would cry in pain from just standing at attention, but would do it anyway
there was a girl in my section who would always yell at me for not making my dot and being out of step and such
that would make me mad
Mr. Jazz impressed many things on me, the main thing was that band was not about beating other bands. it was nice to win, but you always win if you did your best and got a better score than the last time you performed.
and we were always last or close to it, but we didn't care because we tried and got better than we were before
then the next year, everything clicked for me. marching was second nature. I could shut my eyes and hit my dot I bet
(perhaps not)
but I knew I was poised for greatness
Mr. Jazz said I was a marching monster. he gave me some of the toughest drill (along with everyone else)
I looked like a pinball, and it was awesome
our show was great. our sound was quality
and we had no drum major, yet we were synced as if we were one
I remember the feeling of them reading the scores, and not saying our name 1st (cuz they read the names from last to first)
and the shock and awe of us winning
we loved it as we hudded around our first 1st place trophy
it was worth not having fun or friends in the band. the hot sun. the dehydration. everything
then of course, though we were poised to be the best, the kids decided to have no band
and it was agony for me
I think I aged alot that year, the one with no band.
I vowed to do anything to march again
and then we managed to pull one together
but I wanted what was, and this is not it
I forgot the greatest lesson:
that band is about you doing your best
and now I feel awful that we did not win
we did okay, in fact great considering everything
we did our best
it's just now every other band copied our old greatness and are way better
I have to learn that all the new rookies will grasp things next year
and I won't be around for the greatness
it's like a veteran who gets hurt and must train a rookie to take his place, and retires a year before they go to the Super Bowl
I'm proud. I don't want to have to back down
I could march with the best of them
fly at 212
roll smoothly in 7/8 time
yet
the majority of the band does not care the way I do
and they won't until I'm gone