I don't like what I see

I'm afraid I'll see our bots team fall apart. and only Ninja and I will care.

cuz I doubt our team will be part of the class like they count on

Jak is too busy to care

who knows what Squall is even up to

and Ninja sent me an email. he's upset.

but

Mr. Pepper sent me an email. he wants to have a meeting. I really hope we do.

I do not want to see it fall

it'll be like band all over again

but at least I won't be the only one missing it. maybe me and Ninja can run it together and not let it fall. I hope he doesn't mean that if no one wants to meet then he won't as well. cuz then

it'll be over

0_0 Two Weeks til Football =)

all I can say is last night was so great. I wanted to cry, hypervenalate, and have a heart attack
cuz our drill writer gets it.
and he ran practice yesterday and it was just like the good old days
Lily was um.....yeah she's being forced to do band. but now I am not
it's like I went back in time. sadly, it won't always be this good. but I can dream ^_^

I believe.......

I believe we should be like Tigger.

I believe that the majority of people are good.

.........

anywho, today is the day. the guy is coming to band to tell us about our show. and I think that I can tell if this is going to be competitive or not based on what he says. *nods*

wow, now Lily's in but I'm most likely on the way out. I wonder if Apple Jack will be there....

O.O

I first became interested in him when Tiger Soul gave me a charm bracelet with him on it.

then, went I went away to band camp, we would watch him to get out of marching

when I watch Spongebob, I just have to stare

my favorite episode is Free Balloon Day

Music IS everywhere......

wow when I was off to band I heard some odd things:
someone's radio (sounded like Moody Blues q-: I love them)
country music coming from someone's house
echoes at school. wow it was weird
that Apple Jack quit. it is bad, cuz that means he believes that it isn't gonna happen
the Church bells. they play a nice melody at 12 oclock
hm that's it
I saw a cute guy
Ron was being super friendly again
someone almost passed out
okay I have before. but Mr. Jazz always gave us breaks. if someone felt like they needed it, the whole group got one.
this doesn't happen now
today was rough. I shouldn't have marched. but I did. but now I can relax. maybe.

woah

preseason starts in about 3 weeks. are you ready?

cute

I think that there is someone out there looking for me and I'm looking for him

yay

wow I don't look like a chipmunk at all!
there is like no swelling and no pain. I just felt (and still kinda feel) queasy
so in the news today:
Nathaniel is really sick
Lily is most likely going to quit band
Ron and Hailey (not Haili) are odd
Ron is all super nice and weird to me. *shudder*
and Hailey is all I wanna join Bots!! it sounds super fun
well it is, but Idk
oh and Ninja finally edited the paragraph!!!! yay
I am gonna to arrange a bots meeting whether Jak likes it or not LoL

lah

ew not feeling well after my surgery, hopefully I can post tomorrow

this and that

I heard there was a solar eclipse last night

so yesterday, I had my flute lesson and sat in the cafeteria where I used to have lunch
*sigh* those were the good old days, when Samuel and I would eat and talk

oddly enough, Ninja emailed me. wowsa! how'd he know I would call him???
he wants to have a meeting. Jak's all like we need to have a very good reason to meet.
I remember all summer last year not having a good reason, just sitting around enjoying company
oh well, I must convince him
honestly, I think having our team as part of a class is going to make us lazy.

called Nathaniel and Sally, no answers there
and Lily called. she might quit it's up in the air

hmm and Samuel's girl friend broke up with him.

band tonight, and no Apple Jack. oh well. but perchance they will say whether or not we are a marching band
I just know we won't compete, but I'll only quit when they say it aloud

wow

at times like these, I have to love Rascal Flatts

so to start at the beginning, I was reading Peace, Love, and Baby Ducks by Lauren Myracle

boy did it pinch a nerve

my mom says that the books are terrible, cuz the friends are always out to destroy each other

but this one made me see that they are terrible

I used to have friends like that. not mentioning any names, she is not my friend (though I love to do nice things for her) and the others have changed. plus I have the best friends in the entire universe! they really care and only try to build me up. wow. and it seems that almost anyone is nice to me. people who hate like everyone love me. I'm not sure why. and if someone does hate me, no one believes me they're like 'no one can hate you Quincy'

but anywho, in the book, the girl's younger sister is a freshman and it's a mess

I try to be a great sister, but Idk

I'm worried about mine. I want to protect her from everything and always be there

but that's unrealistic

she's growing up and she should. and we both have to have our separate lives

I know sometimes I push her away cuz we're all human and need space

but I don't wanna do that. I wanna be a good sister.

and I'm sorry that I call you fake and tease you. but you're my younger sister and Idk

the fake thing is wrong though

that's another thing. the girl seemed to have rules to keep people from being fake and everyone hated it. well, I think people should be happy with who they are. but if you wanna straighten your hair (which is so pretty curly) that's fine. I don't wanna have rules. I didn't see that I did.

the other thing in the book is religion. well, I don't like to talk about it cuz I think it's private. but

I'll leave you with 3 points that I love

in the song counting blue cars, they say 'tell me all your thoughts on God, cuz I'm on my way to meet her' that is cool. I think we forget that God is God

in Bridge to Terrabithia, Leslie loves the idea of God after going to Church for the first time. she thinks that He's too busy to condemn people because He's taking care of creation

the best one is the Rascal Flatts song 'He Ain't the Leavin' Kind'

you, my friend, will have to listen for yourself to find out why I like it.

okay, I'm not done. I think that Christians and everyone should just realize that we believe what we believe. no one knows who's right or wrong, and I doubt that it'll matter in Heaven. if you just live a good life and try to love everyone, I think you'll be alright. I don't think God is going to care about petty stuff. and if he doesn't exist, well, we made the world a better place.

'there are many worlds out there, but they share one sky. one sky--one destiny' -Kairi

Spirit

Spirit is a great movie. if you watch it and don't feel moved or cry, something's wrong with you
sorry, but it's true
the music is awesome too!
but anyway at band, I wonder if I'm like Spirit
I try to refuse what they want to do, and it's tough
but I wanna stand tall and not lose what I learned
you do not follow the dots cuz they are not lined up correctly
and I saw someone marching the old way. subconsciously, it is there
but they do not want to cause any trouble. argh!
then apparently they were talking about who Mr. Jazz learned from
that really piqued my interest, since Mr. Jazz is so good
though, I doubt he agreed with everything he taught and changed it for us
Idk I know what we did. and no one seems to care anymore. I refuse to do what they say unless they directly say to, then when they aren't watching I go back
I suppose I am Spirit
miss Jack Apple
and Idk Haili seems to have other friends
as we were walking out there were the old popular kids in one group, and the young new ones in another. then there was me in between
and everytime they say expirenced members, do this....that's me 2. and I love it
but yet I keep having to ask why I'm in it
I hate the music and the changes
but
I love to march and I know how it aches to not
well there's my answer
oh happy moon day or whatever (40th aniversary is it?)

dish soap

yum I am sitting here with the window open smelling the dishwasher soap and the dryer fabric softener
LoL

Cow Day!

happy cow day =)

speculating......

hmmm

well, it appears nothing special happened yesterday

though, I did manage to knit alot. my new scarf is 8 inches long

and I watched the office and AIMed Samuel

Idk he has a girl friend

which is cool. she likes Yu Gi Oh! cards too

Ninja did not email me......

oh and I realized that Squall is not a jerk. he is a social hermit, so he had no idea how to handle me

so things didn't work out. I'm not going to hate him for that all my life

and I was reading through my journal entries when I stumbled upon the week I found out about Mr. Pepper

it was hard to read. it's still terrifying and awful

but one bots meeting, Mr. Dragon (the other advisor) was asking Mr. Pepper when he was getting his new car

after, Mr. Pepper had said

well, I hope he got it yesterday

I hope he's okay

Feels Like Today

I'm not sure why, but it feels like something special is going to happen today.

maybe it has something to do with Ninja.....

or Apple Jack or band

it does feel super good to march, I must say

it feels good that I still have most of it in me

it's cool that it seems Zaira and me have made a friend in the band. her name is Haili

Lily came and we had fun. is she going to stay? probably not.

ah well, it appears to be a great day anyway

Happy Self of Steam day

you approach the ticket taker, wondering what could possibly be going on, ticket in hand
'no no,' he's saying to someone who obviously left their ticket at home, 'you must have your ticket'
'I have mine,' you say
'oh good,' he wipes his face with a polka-dotted hankerchief, then takes the ticket and ushers you inside
oh, you think disappointedly, it's just a book. but it looks old and ruffled, and there seems to be an odd presence in the room, so you walk up to it and see the words
'Strawberry Blonde?' you whisper aloud
and suddenly the room spins and melts away and you are in a small lobby, sitting at a plastic white table. the boy sitting across from you is staring at you with mossy-green eyes. he is tall, even sitting, and his face suggests his pompous nature. his hair, which used to be long and tied back, has been cropped off short in a stylish way. you turn to stare at the other boy, and your heart flutters even though you don't know him. his beautiful, greenish blue liquidy eyes are staring at you too, and you note that he is surprisingly tan next to the other pale, pompous boy. his hair, bleached from the sun, is just a little darker than yours (is it really mine? you wonder) there is also an older man sitting at the table as well. suddenly a girl walks by with bright red hair who nods at you. you nod back, not being sure why
the old man breaks the silence 'Quincy, your hair is red in the sunlight'
'no' a voice you don't reconize says
'well, not like her' he guestures to where the red-headed girl had been
'huh?' the tan boy asks
'she walked by I saw her' you say
'oh. I didn't see her'
'see' you say to the older man 'I had red hair when I was born....' you weave your long spindly fingers through your hair and watch the sun dance off of it '.....there are still orange streaks in it'
'yeah' the pompous boy agrees, erily ingrossed in watching you
'Strawberry Blonde' the other boy says. it fell off his lips like a compliment and the room melts away again

you were just invited to a summer bots meeting. Jak was the pompous guy, Squall was the tan one, and Mr. Pepper was the older man
I do love my hair, but I always felt it was a hinderance because of blonde jokes
but Squall saying that made me feel like, wow
maybe people do like it
cuz you can't get my color from a bottle ;-)
so Ninja emailed me! it was about motors, but still it's awesome that he thought of me
Ninja is even better for my self of steam
cuz I don't have to do anything special for Ninja to stare at me happily with his shiny hazel eyes
I don't care if he likes me or not
simply bein loved, loved, loved, is more than enough, yeah, yeah-BT, simply bein loved

no clue

I have no clue what to blog about......

been watching The Office, which is sooo funny

Lily and I were talking yesterday

oh yeah

*hands you a ticket, slightly dog-eared and that sickly pink faded color*

'what is this for?' you ask

'well,' I say, 'wait until tomorrow'

;-)

I'ma textin' Ninja today

What to do with Apple Jack

*sigh*
I dreamt about Ninja (again) and here's what I think:
I think he is great for me, and I could be great for him too since I listen to all his ideas and we think along the same lines
I think that I have trouble knowing how I feel about him
I mean, I like him but I think he likes Leah and I seem okay with it, but I'm afraid I'll get my hopes up and when (and if) he says he likes her, then it'll hurt
my heart shys away from the hurt
Squall really killed my heart, shattered it. other things have too, but everytime I saw him with another girl (Sharpay, for example) it was tough. Nathaniel tried to help. he would make excuses for Squall. say that he didn't know what he was doing
possible
I think Squall liked controlling me. liked being above me. and I want to see him again to prove that he's wrong. I cut the strings, I think I'm free
I think too that Ninja and I have been friends for about a year and like each other but not that way
I think that's why I have trouble saying I like him
anywho
went to band. it felt sooooo good to march
I will not conform to what they do, but they want me there so *shrug*
so Apple Jack supplied me with a stretch (we went around the circle, and I couldn't think of one)
and he seemed to stare at me, tried to talk to me a little, and maybe whispered about me
I feel like an outsider
I'm probably paranoid, but I feel like they talk about me behind my back
Idk
told Ron's gf about us trying to overthrow Jak. that can't be good
Ron thought I'd support FBLA
said no
anywho (wow I canNOT stay on topic)
a small little voice is asking 'does Apple Jack like me?'
we are kindred spirits when it comes to music and marching band
he is against it too, but is in it
and do I like him?
not sure
he's cool though
hmmm
I wonder.........
what if I had never asked him to prom?
what if I didn't dream?
deep...................................

Sooo excited!!!!!!! *squeak!*

Keri Smith, I doubt you read my blog, but you are awesome!!!!!!

I love my journal soooo much ^_^

yes I went on vacation for about nine days and had a lot of fun

but I missed my home town, and EVERYTHING about it

the climate the dialect the food the people and on and on

anyway, Keri Smith's new book is coming out soon and it is called 'This is not a book'

I loved learning how to be an ex-plor-er of da world, but I wanted a book like my journal, which seems to be what this one is about

it raises this deep question: if this is not a book, then what is it?

I love thinking like that

*********

in other news my faith in humanity has been shaken

it seems as though girls will never get any respect

(this is all brought on by a movie I was forced to listen to)

and I do not like it

more later

*************

finally, on a happy note, I called Ninja

and though he was with Leah, we talked for 12 minutes and 54 seconds!!!!!

he's so happy about my solo

he's so cool and is always there to remind me that hey maybe the world is filled with fake people, and though they are hard to come by, real people do exist

*yawn*

wow it is 6 am here!! =)
I freaked about Apple Jack all yesterday
my great uncle showed me the neatest card trick (I think)
and went shopping
honestly
I'm hopping mad that bell bottoms are out of style, common people! did hypies wear skinny jeans that cut off circulation at your ankles? NO
why do people need a stupid fad to feel good about themselves? =(
"they show off your curves and make you feel good cuz you look good"
please
and what is the big deal with make up? again, why do people need to hide themselves and make themselves (I'm not saying this to everyone, just to those who put on HUGE amounts of make up and you know who you are) look like they have a hangover
when I wear make up (cuz I want to, not for a dance recital) the world will explode
cuz I know a couple things
1.) I have a very healthy self of steam. they can't tell me I need this or that to look good, because I already do and I say so
2.) though I have never had a boy friend, I think it's cuz I haven't met the guy who appreciates me for who I am, or if I have they are just not ready. I have some great guy friends who I can laugh my head off with and be goofy around q=
3.) just listen to Fast Cars and Freedom by Rascal Flatts
"starin at you, taking off your makeup, wonderin why you even put it on. I know you think you do, but baby you don't need it, wish that you could see what I see when it's gone"
4.) I have a journal. because of him, I'm not even a part of the status quo and so why follow their rules?
Ninja makes up theorems in his spare time, I do 2
but they are to explain my crazyness ^_^

Oh goodness ANOTHER belt loop incident????

I must say, the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series is hands down one of the best series if you wanna read about four friends who stay friends

anyway, you might be asking, WHAT is the belt loop incident?
well my friend, we must go backward before we can move forward
*flashback*
so Squall and I, on a dress down day, have both worn a yellow shirt
in PreCalc we were forced to sit together almost the whole year!!!!!
and we touch eachother's feet under the desk, which reeks havoc on my concentration
anyway, so I survived another day, and the bell rings
I pack up my calculator, pencil, and eraser, and stand up
Squall is inching past my chair, really close today
and then!!!!
I reach out to grab my chair, but my finger goes through either his belt loop or hammer loop on his jeans.
I honestly was just so embarrassed
and like, he didn't say anything he just stood there
so I now refer to embarrassing things as belt loop incidents

well, so yesterday at band I toned down my expectations
and Jak being there, staring at me, seriously freaked me out
but anyway
so during warmups, we give massages to the person to the right of us
that was Apple Jack (remember? I had to ask him to Prom???)
so I gave him one
but goodness, she said to turn around and let them give you a massage!!!!
so he's massaging me and it was just so weird cuz Idk

I was going insane

it wasn't like Squall, cuz then I'd be going numb
it wasn't like Ninja, cuz I'd be....hmmm oh yeah, enjoying his aura
it was different, cuz his hands are like the same temperature as mine

used dementional analysis to figure out that 5k is 3.1 miles
and all good chem students box their answers =)

A true blue mountain dew dieheart hypie gypsy girl

Idk what to do
I should quit, it would save me from the crash that's immenent
Ninja told me too
but I know things I absolutely loathe don't look so bad after awhile
and I sang and stayed in Jazz Band even though Ninja said to quit. and I liked it
I want to be noble
I wanna be able to say you quit me, but I didn't quit you
so I skipped a practice, they'll take me back
so I have no friends there
maybe it'll change
I don't wanna be Squall, who said 'I don't feel like helping you'
so they can't change how I march
they'll learn soon enough
Yanni wants to smile on us
maybe I should let him
and if I crash and burn at the end
at least I know I tried my hardest for them
even if they never cared